Alimony and Post Separation Support Lawyer in Raleigh, NC

This is a very common question, and we appreciate the importance and gravity of financial issues. Every situation is different and therefore, we prefer to discuss the details of each client’s situation personally in order to offer a tailored plan of action.

The facts surrounding your marriage, divorce, children and property are unique. Although your friends and colleagues may have the best of intentions giving you advice about your case or anecdotes about others who have gone through the process, more often than not you are getting advice that is not accurate and you should be cautious when following advice that is not from your attorney regarding your case. Also, be careful when discussing sensitive details about your case with friends and family as this can often be passed on to other people, which can lead to your spouse finding out about it. This type of action can defeat all of your attorney’s efforts to help you.

You should create a new email account to use to communicate to discuss issues related to separation and you should not use your home computer, or any computer that may be accessible by your spouse. New passwords should be random; do not use passwords, such as children’s birthdays, that can be easily guessed by your spouse. The concern regarding using computers accessible by your spouses arises as a result of the possibility of computer software being installed on a computer without your knowledge to monitor computer use. As a result, you spouse can read your emails or obtain new passwords to email and financial accounts. In addition to concerns regarding “spyware,” your spouse may copy the hard drive of the family computer or a computer to which he or she has access, and recover information you may think has been deleted, but can be recovered by a forensic computer expert. These issues can be more fully discussed at your consultation with your attorney. Using a cell phone on your family plan can give your spouse the opportunity to review itemized billing statements and see to whom you have been calling or texting. You need to get your own cell phone to use that cannot be accessed by your spouse. Prepaid cell phones can be a good option for this purpose.

When separation is imminent, you need a secure place to put funds to live on that cannot be accessed by the other spouse. Open a separate bank account, stop your direct deposits from going into your joint account and close joint accounts. If your paycheck is directly deposited, you will want to change it so you get a hard check to deposit prior to your separation. If your spouse is the bookkeeper of the family, they may notice this change, so it needs to occur as close to the separation as possible to prevent a problem being tipped off to your spouse. You will want to fund your separate account as soon as possible simultaneous with or very soon after the separation. The risk with joint accounts is that your spouse can wipe out all joint accounts with one keystroke now with internet banking. You should also consider canceling or freezing joint debt related accounts, such as credit cards, lines or credit or equity lines, to prevent your spouse from withdrawing funds or taking cash advances that could result in high interest costs, which you may ultimately become responsible for paying. It is important that, as soon as possible, you sit down and make a list of your debts, your expenses, your income and your assets. It is important to determine your net worth so you know what an equitable division of the marital estate will be, and what income you will need to support yourself in the future. In addition, you need to prepare a post-separation budget and set realistic financial goals. Now operating two households on that same amount of income that once funded one household can cause a great deal of financial strain. It may be a good idea to meet with a financial planner to get professional advice as to the best way to manage your money to ensure financial security in the future. You also need to review your credit report to determine the status of your credit and identify any debts you owe that either you were not aware of or were fraudulently incurred.

If you or your spouse own any interest in a business, you need to understand the following:

• What type of business is it?
• What interests do you or your spouse holds in the company?
• How profitable is the business? What is the future potential of the business?
• Are you are personally liable for any of the business’ debts?
• Are dividends paid on a regular basis?

If you have access to copies of the business’ tax returns, financial statements or other financial records, etc. The easiest way to hide income from another spouse is through a business. These records are extremely important to obtain as soon as possible.

This issue is very personal and case specific as things like age, maturity, and family dynamics are important considerations. We would recommend that this issue is best addressed after your case and situation have been evaluated by one of our attorneys.

Keeping a journal or calendar can help you take notes on incidents that have occurred with your spouse, such as arguments that may have become heated, specific dates money was withdrawn from joint bank accounts, retirement accounts, etc. If you have children, you can keep a record of when you have custody and when your spouse has custody, when your spouse was late picking up the children, etc.

Having gone through this process myself personally, I would suggest to you to take advantage of the one-year period of separation before entering into a serious romantic relationship. Take the year to connect with old friends and make new ones. Get acquainted with who you are and what you want for your future. Explore hobbies or other social groups and activities. Of course, if you are ready to get back into the dating scene before you are divorced, please proceed with caution. Adultery prior to the date of separation is marital misconduct and could give rise to a claim for alimony. Post-separation adultery is generally irrelevant, expect to the extent it helps to prove pre-separation adultery. However, post-separation adultery may be upsetting to your spouse and may affect his or her willingness to reach an agreement with you. If you are involved with someone else, please be discreet, be truthful and tell your attorney about the relationship.

Divorce is essentially the death of a marriage. It is traumatic whether you wanted the divorce or not. It is normal to go through a grieving process. Many times, people experience depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions upon the breakup of a marriage. If you feel this way, please seek help from a mental health professional immediately. This help can come from counselors, trusted clergy, psychologists or psychiatrists. There are often support groups, which are free of charge and sometimes even provide free childcare, such as DivorceCare. You can go to www.divorcecare.org to find a group near you and to learn details about what options they have for you in terms of cost, childcare, etc.

Sometimes after a case is moving forward and time passes, emotional wounds can heal; folks can reconsider some of the issues that initially resulted in the separation and change their ways. You should always feel free to discuss these thoughts with your attorney. It is our policy to encourage efforts toward reconciliation and we will make any effort to help our clients get the resources and assistance they need if that is their desire, such as marital counseling or financial advising. There may be legal consequences to a reconciliation, but those are best addressed on a case-by-case basis directly with one of our attorneys.